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  • Writer's pictureAnjana Rajbhandary

Love in the time of Instagram

Dating is not what it used to be.

Nowadays, we date people based on their Instagram followers and how many 'likes' we can get on the pictures together. We put more work into becoming Instagram official than having a one-on-one conversation over a meal.

People are valued based on likes, shares, and saves.

We even take our cell phones to the bathroom every single time.

We date people to post more on Facebook and count our worth based on the number of comments we can get.

We date people, so we don't have to do activities alone and have someone to travel with. We date people, so we have someone to show off to others.

We date people primarily for how it will look on social media and measure our happiness on the popularity of our posts.

We date people for how they look and not really who they are. Most of the time, we don't even put in the time to get to know them.

We date people but are in a relationship with our phones because we hold those more than our partners' hands, and we stare at the screen more than our partners' eyes.

We date people for appearance, not for real, and make jokes about that online to show that we aren't that vain.

We date people like we are playing a game where we focus more on winning and if the prize is worth showing.

We date people for our evenings off, so we have someone to keep us company because we also need too much 'me' time.

We make so many promises but barely keep any.

They are all terrible reasons and ways to date people. We are treating people like things and not as human beings.

It doesn't even feel like we are dating people because we seem to be more interested in how those people look in technology. In-person conversations seem like a lost art of the past.

If you want to date, the first thing you need to do is grow the hell up and stop making excuses.

We want the good and fun parts of the relationship, but no one wants to work during the not-so-fun aspects of the relationship.

We want that magical connection, but we don't want to put the time and energy into getting to know someone because commitment sounds too severe.

We want beautiful love, but we don't want to change our lifestyle, and we don't want to put in what it takes for a real relationship (it is not always pretty).

You must know what you want and what you are looking for from the beginning because the problem is that you can't go about and see what happens. That is one of the most significant issues with relationships, which ends up hurting people.

The truth is you either want to be in a relationship, or you don't. The truth is, at the end of the day, no one wants to be alone.

Date someone who values commitment over fun because they are interested in making a worthwhile connection that takes work and not just playing childish games.

Date someone who understands to put work into relationships because many people are alone because they think relationships should be easy, and they are not.

Date someone who is not scared to be vulnerable and can risk getting hurt because that is a part of life. We want to be madly in love, but we are so cautious that we end up hurting many people in the process.

Date someone who says they are looking for love and not those who run away the moment things get serious because "it's moving too fast." They are lying cowards.

Date someone who can handle your baggage and understand that it is your responsibility to take theirs too. Value and accept someone who prioritizes the relationship between two people and not what is visible on social media.

You want to be with someone who wants the same thing as you and if it is a deep and meaningful relationship, always remember that it requires work, patience, and time.

Can you imagine how different our relationships and our lives would be if it weren't for Instagram?


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