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  • Writer's pictureAnjana Rajbhandary

You Feel Like Home To Me, And I Want To Come Back

It’s been so long since I last saw you, but I am always drifting to you. I tried for years to stay away, but the stars and planets want me to be closer to you. I ran away to be a million miles away, but my tears wrote a poem just for you, telling me what I should have already known. Next to you is where I belong.

I never deserved anything you had to give because I kept burning the bridges between us so we could never reconnect, but somehow, I keep finding myself in your presence. I thought I would sink on my way to you, but you always save me. When you self-destruct the way I do, the only thing that helped is that you never gave up.

When we used to walk down the street holding each other’s hands, everything around us disappeared, and we were left with each other by the blue windows on the third floor. We wouldn’t see any people or cars; we only saw each other, and that is all that mattered. I miss when we had the same dream and saw the same future. Can I close my eyes, and will you take me away to that moment of just us standing together? Don’t let me go and hold me tight if we are ever there.

Whenever I kissed you, the entire world vanished, and it was only us. Can you take me back to that instant? You are the only dream I ever wanted to live.

You waited for me for so long in the dark without any hope but always expected me to be back. You knew I would come back to you; it was just a matter of time. You were waiting for a word from me, and I never gave you anything more than a smile. It was safer to keep things vague. I wasn’t ready then, but I am now.

Is it too late to go back in time and be what we used to be? Will, you not come back to me if I call your name? What if I promise to wait till you are ready? I made you wait for so long, and I can do the same. Maybe we needed to run around with other people to realize that all we wanted in life was to hold each other’s hand and be by each other’s side

All my life, I knew that someone like me was meant to be with someone like you, even if we were the most unlikely pair. Sometimes what we had didn’t feel real because it was so magical. Sometimes it feels like it’s too good to be true, but I was so lucky to have you. You were the fantasy I always wanted. You were the dream I wanted to live.

We needed to be apart to come back together. When we met, our timing was wrong, but I always knew you would come back to me because you are the half for which I have always searched. You are a dream that I have in my waking life. I want to share my life with you forever.

Sometimes I wish I could have saved our little moment in a box and taken it out because you feel like home. And I want to come back. Wherever you are is where I want to be. I am ready to be home.

Originally published at on December 10, 2021.


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